Is life just one big gimmick?
Is there something in it?
I don't know.
Is life just about fact?
This means this and that.
I suppose so?
What am I doing wrong?
Writing this weird "song?"
I doubt it.

I don't know how to ask for help.
Well, I know how to, because that is simple.
I guess I just don't know how to allow myself to ask for help.
How to say "can I talk to someone"

I sit and stare at my phone, mouth silently opening and closing.
It's no use. You won't speak.

I can't make people with bigger problems listen to my whining.
So recently I've taken to writing post's I'll never publish, then deleting them. At least then I get to vent, just to open space. To nobody. To the sarcastic persona I characterize here.
That would be MS Sarcastic Persona to you.
 Sometimes I think about leaving. Not leaving home, or life, but leaving the online.
I don't know why I think of that, all my support is here, online.
Most, not all. Idiot.
Whatever. But it's true, the majority of my support comes from my online friends.. leaving would only hurt me and them.

It ties into my self sabbotage theory.
I think that I sabbotage myself, stop myself from being who I can be.
I've had two main turning points in my life so far, both being when I moved school. At my first primary school I was content, I was happy. A sweet little smart duckling. The I moved to a different primary school and, well I became quite violent. I settled down again upon going to secondary school, but I do wonder where my self sabbotaging went, and also where all that anger and violence went.. and where it started..

I'm going to post this. I've decided I will.