I'm sorry if all the content on here is negative, although it doesn't really matter cause no one looks here anymore
I hate the way I can be
Sometimes I'll just.. sink. A friend will say something, and for no good or fair reason it'll just
Sink me
There goes my battleship
And then I just.. feel shitty because
I don't want them to feel guilty
But I know that if I keep talking to them I won't be as good as I was before
But if I say I'm going to sleep, what if that hurts them too?
And even then, those two thoughts..
They're so self centred. Acting as if they are actually affected, as if they'll actually notice?
They have better things to do than to overthink why their friend is going to sleep at such an early time
I don't know how to deal with it..

Update?

The lows are less frequent now
I know they aren't "lows" per say, that makes them sound very serious when they aren't
But they don't happen as often
My brain is still over analysing though
Making me feel guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about
But that's okay, I can just ignore it
I'm trying to figure out what the problems I have are so I can deal with them
Number one, over analysing everything
Number two, wanting a partner too much, and lying to myself about this
Number three, weight and general fitness

The thing is it's easy to identify the problems
The hard part is figuring out how to deal with them..
I'll get there
Eventually

Jai