Talking

Sometimes I want to talk to someone
Usually my online friends
Usually because I'm upset or I'm feeling redundant
But at the same time I can't
All I can do is watch them talk to each other
I'd private message them but they wouldn't check unless I asked them to, and I just.. Can't
I hate when it happens
It hate more when it happens at the same time as someone who is usually distant and upset finally being present and somewhat happy
I wind up feeling pushed out, unnecessary
Someone said something to me once, that I need to get used to people not talking to me much
I guess they were right
I need to get used to being alone, to having no one
Maybe that's the only way to protect ourselves from other people
But it's also easier said than done. My resolve has been better recently but it's still bad
I just.. Don't know what to do in situations like this
When I'm sat, watching them talk, wishing I could say.. Anything
But I can't..
They'd never know.. Wouldn't realise till it was too late..
But of course I'm bound by a promise from the past, one that shouldn't even matter to me anymore but for some reason it does
Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me tethered here, I think
But what would I know..
I'm just a voice in the wind